Intro: In 2006 an elite Pakistani cricket unit was charged for tampering crimes they didn’t commit. Three of these men promptly escaped from a maximum security dressing room at the Brit Oval onto the London Underground. Today still at large and still wanted by the ICC they survive as buskers of fortune. If you have a problem and no-one else will help, then if you can find them, maybe you can hire the P-Team.
Cast: Inzamam Ul Haq is the captain and chief eating Unit. Shoaib ‘The Hulk’ Akhtar is the muscle head of the group and Shahid ‘Face Man’ Afridi is the hustler with the dancing feet. There is a secret fourth member that the ICC doesn’t know about called ‘Howling Mad Murali’ who isn’t strictly a P-Team member but with an arm that can bend round any corner he’s more than just useful.
Plot: The head of the ICC (Malcolm Speed) is facing a ransom demand from one of his out of favour heavies and the man in question (Darrell Hair) is real heavy!! He wants half a million dollars within 10 days or he’s going to spill the beans about the shady goings on behind closed doors at the seedy organisation. Speed has been warned by Hair not to go to the police or face the consequences if he does.
Backed into a corner Speed has no choice but to call on the P-Team and offer them a pardon in exchange for saving him from the man known as ‘Hair Trigger’ but it won’t be a walk in the park for the P-Team. ‘Hair Trigger’ is in a secret hiding place and the P-Team have to first count to a 100 before they go looking for him!
Don’t forget to watch out for the extra special guest appearances from Jeera Badhmash and Ahmed Lamptey who turn up with a trunk full of US dollar bills hoping to ‘pay-off’ Darrell and buy a pardon from Speed for the P-Team!!
Please note that the above DVD release is entirely fictitious, as are the alleged events that occur in this parody. Any resemblance to person living or dead is a side-effect of being a cricket fan!!